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the best summer ever; because of you.

My first summer with you, was also the best.
For I learnt how to love, and how love feels like.
I had my first kiss, my first touch, my first hugs.
I learnt that to love someone, you learn to let them go.
I learnt that to love someone, you learn to let yourself go too; for them.


whispers of summer her story friends birdsongs memories sunrays





sometimes what i want to say isn't apparent through what you just see(:
Monday, September 29, 2008
random meme again.

random meme again.
for the sake of dispelling boredom, and also because i need a distraction. from missing someone too much ._.
koped from yiting; food meme this time. interesting.

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating. [which essentially means most of the alcoholic things, for me -.-]

01. Venison (quite few people seem to have eaten this. Hasn't anyone ever had black pepper venison at Chinese restaurants?)
02. Nettle tea
03. Huevos rancheros
04. Steak tartar
05. Crocodile
06. Black pudding
07. Cheese fondue
08. Carp
09. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho (nope, but i expect i'll end up eating this when i fly off to vietnam at the end of the year! it's a vietnamese dish, if you haven't already figured out)
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (hmm. nope. since ice wine's made from grapes as well. although people have been telling me to try choya [plum wine].)
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries (nope. i wish i can, though.)
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas (yes yiting, i never want to again too.)
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl (soup in sourdough bowls win! :D)
33. Salted lassi (i've heard of mango lassi, but a salted one? -raises eyebrow dubiously-)
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float (though i'm not a fan of root beer)
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (underage. and i hate alcohol and smoking -.-)
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O (alcoholic; no way.)
39. Gumbo (someone kindly enlighten me on what this is thankyou)
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat (if it's mutton curry or rendang... yeah.)
42. Whole insects (zomg insects?! -runs awayy-)
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (underage. and i hate alcohol, so probably never will end up drinking that)
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel (bones can get annoying)
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut (someone buy for me? :D :D)
50. Sea urchin (my dad says yes, but i don't remember xD)
51. Prickly pear (well, if the chocolate made from this counts, then yes.)
52. Umeboshi (from umeya! xD)
53. Abalone (haha thanks to yiting who brought to school in p6 xD)
54. Paneer (cheese, says yiting.)
55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal (I prefer their breakfasts)
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (underage. and alcoholic, so nope.)
58. Beer above 8% (never. beer's worse than wine.)
59. Poutine (well from what i infer from yiting's comment, i presume they're cheese fries.)
60. Carob chips
61. S'mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin (no idea what this is)
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (NEVER WANT TO EAT THIS AGAIN)
66. Frogs' legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain (aka goreng pisang)
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette (stuffed pigs' intestines)
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe (underage. and alcoholic.)
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill (srsly, no thankyou.)
76. Baijiu (Chinese distilled alcohol) (underage. and this is veryy alcoholic. definite no-no.)
77. Hostess Fruit Pie (well, if this means fruit pie in general, yes.)
78. Snail (nope. for all the times i've said i wanted to try escargot.)
79. Lapsang souchong (some sort of tea, so maybe i'll go try it.)
80. Bellini (Cocktail) (underage. and alcoholic.)
81. Tom yum (tom yam)
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky (definitely! haha mr ow and his pocky during philo xD)
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant (i've never even been to one)
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate (just what sort of chocolate it this? and it's chocolate; so as long as it's not alcoholic i'll try it xD)
91. Spam (whaaat? since when was spam food!)
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa (no idea what this is)
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox (interesting. salmon fillet with a bagel. sounds good, no? xD)
97. Lobster Thermidor (alcoholic seafood? i'll pass, though i love lobster.)
98. Polenta (what's this o.o)
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee (don't drink coffee.)
100. Snake (this is kinda dubious.)
9:41 pm
Monday, September 22, 2008
officially sixteen!

officially sixteen!
as of this minute; 1923 hours.

today really rocked. honestly; it rocked beyond expectations. right from ytd i had birthday wishes coming in alr. primarily on msn; and mr yeoh's facebook message xD

not forgetting my triple birthday wish from thomas at 11.59pm ytd! haha he wanted to wait till the very last minute but he was 24 hours early xD but it's okay. because it's the thought that counts; and that was the best one i've received so far(:

my presents own too, if i may say so! only five so far, but they srsly own. pics another time; i'm laaazy now; will edit this post when i get them downloaded to my computer xD

1) from lisa: a superr cute pink pillow with a fluffy heart on top; and a lovely hand-drawn card. and it's so lovely i thought it was printed at first/she bought it, until i saw the signature on the picture :D

2) from yiting: part one of her present, she says. [part two tmr!] the other day i was at chinatown getting charms etc to make lisa's earrings, she found this super pretty shell pendant thing with silver dolphins on it. and i have a dolphin fetish; so naturally i was like, zomg i wantttt! but it was really ex, so i didn't get it. next thing i know, she gets it for me, attaches a keychain string, and affixes to it four pretty silver wings. result? a most marvellous keychain. yiting you rockk. love you(:

3) from my brothers: a pack of tao kae noi seaweed. maybe it doesn't seem like anything much, after my two hand-made presents on top, but really, from my brothers who usually don't even give me anything, it means alot already(:

4) from my whole family [my mum's idea!]: my notebook got hijacked [it's still being hijacked now xD] and my entire family minus my gran who can't write much is writing me notes. simple, but really meaningful<3

5) from my dad: my cake! just before he left for work he asked me what i wanted; and like the so many years when i was a kid i said 'blackforest!' again xD and he went and bought the 'most special looking' cake ahhh<3

[and there's still my celebration on weds, when we're gna play pool! xD]

and alot alot of people wished me a happy sixteenth. in fact, a record 27 people.

ytd's:
1) mr yeoh!
2) kenneth
3) chewlin
4) zongxian
5) ning [whose birthday is one day before mine!]

today's!
6) thomas [and his triple wishes that overspilled from 11.59pm ytd haha xD]
[kenneth for the second time]
7) mum
8) shaowei
9) celene
10) yiting
11) shinyi
[zongxian for the second time]
12) lisa
13) shihui
14) gwen
15) lyana [who just happened to be around when gwen asked 'ehh it's your birthday today?'; thankyou!]
16) esther
17) charisse
18) derhui
19) baifeng
20) gran
21)+22) my brothers!
[zongxian for the third time]
[zongxian for the fourth time, just for the fun of beating thomas at it xD]
23) ningyu
24) fangyi
[shinyi for the second time]
25) daniel
26) josh [who just came back from australia and dropped by just to say happy birthday to me(:]
27) raash

as shinyi put it,
shinyi loves *s, just like you! says (9:13 PM):
if i had so many people wish me happy birthday
shinyi loves *s, just like you! says (9:13 PM):
i think i'd faint

i'm really really touched- thank you; love you people!

for you made my sixteenth the awesome birthday that it is; <3
------
[/edit 230908]; belated birthday wishes!
28) jessica
29) chloe
30) dahwei
7:23 pm
Sunday, September 21, 2008
90 minutes.

90 minutes.
that's how far i am from being sixteen.

in a way i still can't believe time has flown so fast; yet i know it has.

pity i can't have any major celebration tmr; what with options timings - shinyi, yiting and i all have options till quite late, and everyone else is caught up in mugging for eoys. but it's okay. i've already had four early birthday wishes [thankyou zongxian and kenneth and chewlin and ning, whose birthday is today haha] ohh waitwait make that five! :D i just went and checked my facebook account; and mr yeoh said:

'8:22pm Sean:
Hey. Happy sweet 16 tmr-in case I am unable to wish you personally.'

haha first time i've had a teacher say happy birthday in advance to me xD

i feel extremely loved already(:

but at least yiting suggested going out on wednesday instead; and i sure hope more people can go! and at least tmr shinyi and i are going shopping for fam, so it won't be that bad a sixteenth.

yayy. thankyou alotalot, all you people!<3>
sixteen's gna rock; yeah(:
10:22 pm
Friday, September 19, 2008
three more days;

three more days;
maybe monday isn't gna be as awesome as i wanted it to be.

i wanted to go out [who doesn't; on their sixteenth?] but it seems like our wonderful timetables are about to spoil my wishes. on monday i finish options at 2.55; shinyi at 3.55; yiting at 4.55. how on earth am i supposed to go out and celebrate like that? ._.

okay technically i can go out, on my own. i end sch early enough. but what's the point in that, honestly. maybe i should just face the fact that no one's actually going to be able to go out on monday. blehhh.

or maybe i just need a miracle. if only...
sigh ._.
6:17 pm
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
15+361 = 16-5

15+361 = 16-5
my last five days of being fifteen. and again, i say, time flies. so quickly.

this is honestly ironic; but i'm looking forward to sixteen as much as i'll miss fifteen.

sixteen = not a kid anymore, as someone said; and i'll love the freedom that comes with it [which i'm hoping my parents will give me], but it means that i'll have to face all the responsibility that comes from being older. though it's not as much as what i'll probably face even later on in life, thankfully.

i guess that's why being sixteen means so much to me. it's the turning point of life, in a sense. the point where you're old enough to say you've grown up, and yet not so grown up that you're saddled with all sorts of responsibilities and burdens. that's the best part.

being fifteen rocked; i'm hoping sixteen will rock even more(:

five days!
and he's sixteen and a quarter, exactly. today.
8:35 pm
Monday, September 15, 2008
boredom. which means yet another meme!

boredom. which means yet another meme!
and once again, boredom and a lack of msn convos drives me to do random memes.

this one, because yiting decided to tell me to go kope this. just when i was wishing that i had something to occupy myself with, like a random meme, she tags me with one of these random things. i finally get the meaning of "be careful what you wish for" >.>

so anyway, here it is. and i guess it's a good thing this one's letter-writing, because i just did gong han for tuition ytd, and li laoshi made us write another gong han during double chinese today.

Dear Yiting,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but the Mafia wants you. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub in your car, [this does not make sense -.-] and I saw you sit onthe elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're sly enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist.I'm returning the cut toenails to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood sample as a memory.You should also know that I hate your cooking and your Cucumber-fetishism is weird.

Go milk a cow,
jiaying.

p.s. my dear girl, i can't believe that you've been doing all this horrific stuff O: tsktsk. but i must say, i'm tickled enough that my boredom has all but evaporated entirely. xD

anyway, if anyone's driven to absolute boredom and wishes for something to occupy themselves with, here's the meme. and once again, be careful what you wish for, i say. hahaha.

Dear (_friend_),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (_1_). I think I realized it (_2_), (_3_) and I saw you (_4_) (_5_).I'm sure you're (_6_) enough to understand (_7_).I'm returning (_8_) to you, but I'll keep (_9_) as a memory.You should also know that I (_10_) and (_11_).

(_12_),
(_your name_)

1. What's the colour of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White – I’m joining the Convent
Black - I dislike your eyelashes
Green - Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other - I'm in love with your cat

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February - Last year when you peed your pants
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When you smacked my ass
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October - When I quoted Forest Gump
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4. What's the colour of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put whipped cream on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5. What's the colour of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
None – My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other - The elephant in the corner

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; Man
O.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; High
House; Sly
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Scarred
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class
Annat; Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8. What's the colour of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - Your Elton John poster
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from Vegas
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your car

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
C/D - The oil tank from your car
E/F - Your neighbour’s dog
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of that blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your glass eye
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D - Never will forget that night
E/F - Always wanted to break your legs
G/H – Hate your cooking
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always will remember the pep talks
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – Am better off without you

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship is ruined
Beer – you should stop picking your nose
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Wine – Thanks for the Cocaine
Cider – I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Liquor - I chew on your earlobes while you sleep
Other – I'm scratching my ass as you read this

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex-change
England - Good luck in jail
Spain - Go drown yourself
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
France – With tears of sadness
4:10 pm
Friday, September 12, 2008
boredom = meme #3

boredom = meme #3
another meme. no music this time. courtesy of raash; i just conveniently copied it off her lj.

this is what happens when you get bored and [surprisingly,] no one's talking to you on msn.

01. What have you been doing recently?
slacking/reading at Borders. and going out practically every single day this week thanks to options and my slack timetable.

02. Do you ever turn you cell phone off?
no. unless it runs out of battery, in which case it automatically switches off anyway so i suppose that doesn't count.

03. What happened at 10.00am today?
it was the middle of math and i was doing either my integration worksheet or doing my chinese chengyu worksheet cuz i was done with math.

04. When did you last cry?
two days ago.

05. Do you believe in fate/destiny?
yes. to both.

06. What do you want in life right now?
the ability to be not so terribly xin ruan all the time ><

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
an umbrella. or if it's not raining too heavily, my hood will do.

08. What's your favourite thing you must have on your bed?
my dog! the big stuffed one i got two years ago from ruoxi/yingling/siling(:

09. What are you wearing now?
shirt + shorts; typical.

10. What does the nicest text in your inbox say?
haha i have alot alot of nice ones. all from the same person.

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
most of the time. i play guessing games think too much.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
nope.

13. What was the last movie you caught?
wall.e

14. What/who are you proud of?
my wonderful juniors<3

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
"Hey yearmates! training on wednesday! must go kay we ordered lunch!" -Esther.

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
If I Let You Go - Westlife

17. Do you have any nickname(s)?
hahaha. ask any ex-nyps person and they'll know -.-

18. What does your last received text message say? Who was it from?
"T.T i hate hide and seek >.<" -shaowei.

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
10pm, or thereabouts. i normally sleep at 12.30am or so, but i was rly whacked ytd.

20. Are you currently happy?
not particularly.

21. Who gives you best advice?
yiting; all the time. there's shinyi too.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
...i don't think i've ever tried. and no i won't.

23. Who did you talk to on the phone last night?
nobody phoned me last night. neither did i phone anyone.

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
yeah. my rebellious streak, my gpa, my ra application for next year, whether i should apply for uwc or not. and the fact that i turn sixteen in ten days but some people don't seem to have noticed ._. [evidently, i think waaay too much.]

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl - The Paradox.

26. Do you wear toe socks?
no.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
my dad, when he tried to call me during tuition on sunday -.-

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
yeah.

29. What annoys you most in a person?
shirking responsibility.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
-smiles wryly-

31. Have you ever broken anyone's heart?
yeah.

32. What is the colour of your room?
baby pink/lilac.

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars?
no. unless i was desperate beyond imagination, like if someone in my family was gravely ill and the hospital bills just had to be paid. and even then i'd end up hating myself for doing it.

34. Do you believe in the saying of : "talk is cheap" ?
not really. sometimes.

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?
me. then again, maybe my brother's in it now. i'm lazy to check xD

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
-cough-shaowei-cough-

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
haha i haven't kissed anyone. yet.

38. Do you have a life?
define life - life meaning not dead: definitely. social life: sort of; better than some people's. love life: practically nonexistent.

39. Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didnt die?
um, not in real life. in a book, yes.

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
don't really have a profile song, unless the one i'm currently crazy over counts? in which case it'd be because it's perrrrfect for dance and i still can't get it out of my head. [i think people like yiting and dahwei know which song i'm talking about alr xD]

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
i don't really dream. in the last one i remember, it was him ><

42. Last time you smiled?
an instant ago(:

43. Have you changed this year?
most definitely.

44. What are you listening to right now?
One - Epik High ft. JiSun. mwahahaha xD

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
no. see above comment about how i'm bored and no one's talking to me on msn.

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
open. er...isn't it just natural to walk with your eyes open? o.o

47. Is there a quote you live by?
well not really; even if there is, i invent my own.

48. Do you want someone you cannot have?
hell yeah, to quote raash.

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
definitely. in fact, a few.

50. What was the worst idea you've had in weeks?
letting myself get stalked, in shinyi's words.

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm?
sleeping. see above answer to when i slept last night.

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
definitely not. what love life? ._.

53. What song best describe your love life?
If I Let You Go - Westlife

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
haha. someone told him and he didn't [want to?] believe it.

55. Who always makes you laugh?
people like yiting/shinyi/all the wacky people in class!

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
chinese. hokkien if you count that as a language. and a teeny smattering of jap. and a far smaller pinch of french.

57. Favourite website(s)?
facebook. blackle. [not google!] wikipedia. and other people's blogs xD

58. What's your middle name?
don't have one.

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
waking up early, like 7-ish, and practicing piano. then going for piano.

60. What do you think you are like?
veryy emotional. and too xin ruan. and sometimes i don't pause to think before i do anything.

61. Who will you choose to die with?
no one, because it'll mean that the ones i love will still be alive.

62. Where have you been today?
school, far east, borders, popular, home. oh man what is options doing to me; i seem like some major shopaholic now, what with all the free time i get in my timetable.

63. What game do you play often?
hmm. word challenge/solitaire/mahjong.

64. Who are you missing right now?
someone that means alot to me.

65. If you have to choose between friends and love, what will you choose?
love if it's true [and not unrequited]; otherwise friends. and really true friends at that.

66. What are you doing right now?
doing this meme. and as usual, missing someone ._.

67. Which primary school are you from?
PCS, NYPS

68. Name 3 colours that you like:
haha wonderful. every time people ask me for my favourite colour i tell them three. black, pink, chocolate brown!

69. What emotion do you like to show?
if i had a choice i'd show that i'm happy all the time, but that's never true.

70. What is your life to you?
something i'd never trade for anything else. even if i've faced enough troubles and difficulties.

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
find someone i trust to rant to/cry/try and get over it/solve it.

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
nobody. surprisingly.

73. Who do you admire most?
well i admire a lot of people, but no one much more than the rest.

74. Which month are you born in? s
eptember. in ten days! mwahahaha.

75. How are you feeling right now?
content. and yet wistful. in essence, bittersweet.

76. What is the time now?
6.30pm

77. what kind of person do u think the one who tagged u is?
took this off raash's lj. ehh i don't really know her that well, but she's hardworking, and definitely a really nice person.

78. What colour did you use to dye hair?
never dyed it before. and never considered it. i'm quite happy with my hair colour. though maybe i wouldn't mind dyeing it a lighter brown than mine. like chestnut.

79. Why are you doing this test?
rawr. read above comment; i was boreddd. and no one's on msn occupying me.

80. What do you do when you're moody?　
find someone to rant to. or emo by myself. or listen to music!

81. At which age do you wish to get married?
23-25.

82. Who is more important to you? Girl/Boyfriend or friends?
if you're talking about my really close friends, then friends.

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?
spend it really meaningfully with everyone i love. and say everything i always wanted to say but never dared to. and pray for forgiveness. and pray for everyone else too.

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
God. definitely.

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
metaphorically speaking, yes.

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
to live in eternal bliss, with the people i love. with him.

87. What is your goal for this year?
to get >3.6 gpa [although i doubt that's possible now], and to get into rj's chem ra.

88. Do you believe in eternal love?
yeah.

89. What feeling do you love most?
the feeling of being loved.

[where's qn 90!]

91. What feeling you hate the most?
the feeling that no one appreciates you.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
yeah. or at least, i try to.

93. Do you believe in god?
definitely.

94. Who cares for you most?
my family and my really close friends, and God does too, i guess.

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
learning to treasure everything and everyone that i have, and making the most out of life.

96. What will you bring when you fight?
...hopefully i won't have to fight anyone. but if i do i think my resilience would do. or i could take raash's idea of bringing "the police". hahaha.

97. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
not taking opportunities when they came.

98. What would you feel if no one cares for you anymore?
i sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it really does, i'd be very very lonely and emo.

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
ask him what exactly he wants. and let go and let him have his happiness, if that's what he wants. if not i'll very probably forgive him, because no one's perfect.

100.HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW?
still bittersweet; reliving the memories and all. and still missing someone.

5:29 pm
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
[im]perfection.

[im]perfection.
i don't know any more, but it sure seems like i never do anything right.

it's like i've been screwing every single thing up the whole of yesterday and today.

and i wonder all the time, why can't i just be the perfect girl that everyone wants me to be; because i've had way too many misunderstandings already. and as my piano teacher realised, i kill myself over every single little thing like this.

maybe you tell me it's okay, but it isn't. not to me. because it's always my fault, not yours. and i know it. so don't tell me otherwise.
i cried for an entire hour. but i can only blame myself for it.
you tell me it's your fault, and all i can do is just give you a wry smile; one that never reaches my eyes.
because the tears are still falling, ever so silently.
because the fact is, it's always my fault. and i'm tired of being this imperfect.
because no matter what anyone does, there's nothing that can be done for me to unshed my tears. ever.
7:52 pm
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
random music meme#2

random music meme#2
courtesy of yiting again; thankyou :D

Opening credits:
Mamma Mia - ABBA
whoa. what on earth is this supposed to mean?

Waking up:
恋爱ING - 五月天
whoa. first thing i do when i wake up is fall in love? hahaha. probably true only after i get married. xD

First day of High School:
You Can't Hurry Love - Diana Ross
...this song pops up and repeats itself on iTunes shuffle at the weirdest moments. really. but anyway, first day of high sch was over how many years ago -.-

Falling in love:
Dancing Queen - ABBA
oh man. totally accurate; i fell in love with dance a long time ago xD

Fight song:
Tobira no Mukoue - YeLLOW Generation
haha. the only anime theme i have, courtesy of yiting. therefore the only one apt to claim the title of "fight theme", it seems.

Breaking up:
Lucky - Britney Spears.
...very strangely accurate. i'm beginning to think that my iTunes is psychic. [because my first one was lucky, for me.]

Prom:
我又初恋了 - 五月天
haha. not at this year's fam, probably xD maybe jc prom. but only time will tell if that comes true eventually. -shrugs-

Life:
孤单北半球 - 欧德阳
yiting i agree; we have emo lives T.T

Mental breakdown:
One - Epik High ft. Ji Sun
[yayyy high-five, yiting; mine fits too!] this one's been running around in my head and driving me insane; see previous meme! it's so utterly perfect for dance that it will put me in my crazy dance mood sooner or later, i'm beginning to think. and even then, it's still accurate - when i go crazy, i go crazily high. most of the time.

Driving:
Firefly - A Teens
hmm. "Firefly come back to me; make the night as bright as day...Firefly come lead me on, follow you into the sun" haha i'll need someone to light up the roads i'm driving on if it's at night, sure thing xD

Flashback:
The Day You Went Away - M2M
o.o very apt answer, again. a flashback, eh. but if this is supposed to answer the question, i hope it isn't true. because the couple in the song broke up on 2209. which is my birthday. so no heartbreaks for any of my birthdays, thank you very much.

Getting back together:
梁山伯与朱丽叶 - 曹格&卓文萱
another seemingly apt one. hmm.

Wedding:
How Can I Not Love You - Joy Enriquez
the love theme from Anna and the King; but i srsly hope that only the chorus ["How can I not love you, what do I tell my heart? When do I not want you, here in my arms? How does one waltz away, from all of the memories; how do I not miss you when you are gone?"] comes true. because the rest of the song tells of how forbidden their feelings are and how their relationship can never be realised ._.

Birth of child:
Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney
ooh. wonderful. a kid with a beautiful soul :D

Final battle:
Still - Hillsong
ahhh. a gospel song for my final battle. maybe i'll have to place all my trust in God at my last.

----------
and yiting's answers!

Opening credits:
A Couple of Wishes (Futatsu no Negai) – Nakayama Sara
Hmm, looks ok...

Waking up:
Vampire Heart – HIM
Now this is cool. Poser or not I think it's cool, considering that I'm turning nocturnal. Or at least crepuscular.

First day of High School:
LASTMEETing. – Paku Romi (Edward Elric Seiyuu), Kugimiya Rie (Alphonse Elric Seiyuu) &etc.
Oh, the irony. Epic.

Falling in love:
Uninstall – Chiaki Ishikawa

Fight song:
Moments – Ayumi Hamazaki
A bit too mild. But it has a nice piano part, just lacking the GAR factor. Lyrics don't fit either, but it IS the opening song of FMA: Bluebird's Illusion...

Breaking up:
Asu he Basho – Paku Romi
Er.. if moving forward counts... then the lyrics sorta fit. *nods*

Prom:
Welcome to the Legend of Zelda – SSB X Sound Team
Wtf again? But a Zelda/Video game-theme prom would be cool.

Life:
Broken Wings – Tomoko Tane
My life is emo.

Mental breakdown:
Seikan Hikou – Megumi Nakajima
YES! THIS FITS! Even though I like this song, it's high-ness fits.

Driving:
Angel Heart – Keiji Fujiwara (Maes Hughes Seiyuu)

Flashback:
Beyond the River – Red Cliff OST

Getting back together:
Pride of Tomorrow - June

Wedding:
Love Theme from MGS4 – SSB X Sound Team
/swt Well it IS a love theme, at least...

Birth of child:
Hidden Village – SSB X Sound Team
Cool, like a NINJA! Or something.

Final battle:
Futatsu no Kodou to Akai Tsumi – On/Off
Good enough. It's epic.
7:38 pm
random music meme #1

random music meme #1
haha. my first one. koped this off yiting's lj [thankyou xD] cuz i was bored. but then, isn't boredom the cause of people doing music memes when no one's tagged them to do those memes?

anyway.

1. How does the world see you?
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
hahaha. does this mean i'm a rebel? but then again, in a way it's kinda true. i guess.

2. Will I have a happy life?
You Can't Hurry Love - Diana Ross
"you can't hurry love, no you just have to wait." okayyy i get the hint. >.>

3. What do my friends really think of me?
Apologise - Timbaland ft. One Republic
hmm. i wonder what this means.

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
All About You - McFly
...i take that as a yes, since this is a love song >.> [and not like it isn't at least partly true, i know]

5. How can I make myself happy?
恋爱ING - 五月天
oh man. very accurate; but really ><

6. What should I do with my life?
绿光 - 孙燕姿
...this doesn't really make sense. other than that i'll meet someone spectacular at some point in life?

7. Will I ever have children?
Pretty Boy - M2M
hahaha. does this mean i'll have a pretty son? xD but i want kids, anyway.

8. What is some good advice for me?
Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne
this is another of those that doesn't make sense to me at the moment.

9. How will I be remembered?
我们小时候 - Tank
oh no. if this has any grain of reliability in it, i'll be remembered as someone's childhood sweetheart who broke his heart ._. [i really can see this coming true though; i'm sorry ><]

10. What is my signature dancing song?
Accidentally In Love - Counting Crows
well this IS a dance-ish song; but no. currently it's Epik High's One ft. Ji Sun. [that k-pop one i'm srsly addicted to.] hahaha. unless this hints at something else >.>

11. What do I think my current theme song is?
One In A Million - Bosson
oh my goodness one of those rare super accurate ones again. ><

12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
One - Epik High ft. Ji Sun
hahaha. i just mentioned it there and it pops up. anyway it's probably true, since i keep telling people how this one song has gotten me going super crazy. and it's korean some more; i barely understand the meaning of the lyrics. but it's really perfect for dance. and you guys know how much i love dance, so yeah xD

13. What song will play at my funeral?
西界 - 林俊杰
ahaha. this one's a love song lamenting that two people can't be together. "可黑夜已吞噬我 就是拉不到你的手" accurate, to some extent, i guess.

14. What type of men/women do you like?
Where Are You - Bosson
apparently the type of person i like hasn't appeared yet. hmm.

15. What is my day going to be like?
第一天 - 孙燕姿
...apt title, but today's my first day of what? if this one's accurate, it'll be the first day of a relationship o.o nahhh i don't think so. riiight? >.>

----------
This is what yiting got. i think my answers are more accurate/appropriate hahaha xD

1. How does the world see you?
Tsuki No Uragawa – Toru Ookawa (Roy Mustang seiyuu)

2. Will I have a happy life?
Welcome to the Legend of Zelda – SSB X Sound Team
So you see, I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life at the funny farm in the imaginary company of a certain annoying fairy known as 'Navi'....

3. What do my friends really think of me?
Ocarina’s Melody – SSB X Sound Team

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
The Funeral of Hearts – H.I.M.

5. How can I make myself happy?
Tsuki No Uragawa –Bossa Nova Version- – Toru Ookawa (Roy Mustang seiyuu)

6. What should I do with my life?
Resonance – T.M. Revolution (Soul Eater OP1)

7. Will I ever have children?
Angel Heart – Keiji Fujiwara (Maes Hughes seiyuu)

8. What is some good advice for me?
Tal Tal Heights – SSB X Sound Team

9. How will I be remembered?
Midna’s Theme – SSB X Sound Team
That's cool.

10. What is my signature dancing song?
Uninstall – Chiaki Ishikawa (Bokurano OP)

11. What do I think my current theme song is?
Mosaic Kakera – Sunset Swish (Code Geass Ending)

12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Gourmet Race – SSB X Sound Team

13. What song will play at my funeral?
Seikan Hikou – Megumi Nakajima (Macross Frontier)
Wtf? This is like a happy song. It's not even emo. Dang, I did swear not to cheat.

14. What type of men/women do you like?
The Great Sea – SSB X Sound Team
"They say the sea is cold, but the sea contains the hottest blood of all." - D.H. Lawrence. I suppose it fits....?

15. What is my day going to be like?
Love Theme from MGS4 – SSB X Sound Team

6:47 pm
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